Money Fetishism and Financial Domination

“Are you a FinDomme?” is a question I get asked a lot, and I understand needing some clarity on the matter — so here we are again, making a writing for it to save my sanity and thumbs from saying this over and over again.

The only short answer to this question is “yes, but not in the way you’re probably used to seeing.”

I think it’s responsible to define terms; a few years ago I posted the following into a FinDom group:

I'm at a point in my life where I'm splitting the hairs and making a distinction between Financial Domination and Money Fetishism bc I miss the days when FinDom was about controlling someone's finances like some kind of semi-immoral Accountant.

FinDom is a power exchange, Money Fetishism is exactly that - a fetish for or towards money.

Getting off on surrendering or taking the control one has over their money is Financial Domination; getting off on receiving or sending money is not.

Okay, so are you a money fetishist?

Yes I unashamedly am; however satisfying that fetish is not imperative when building a lifestyle dynamic with me.I don’t require an initial tribute when you message me, I don’t require you to continue sending for responses, I don’t want to “drain your wallet” every payday — bluntly, I have a whole business and regular clients of that business that satisfy my money fetish, and it is in fact a job and work.

If you’re asking me for virtual play, one-off encounters/sessions, or an online only dynamic/relationship — I’m going to charge you accordingly; I’m pay to play when it comes to something you want, because what you’re asking of me is work that only satisfies your wants, desires and fantasies, on your schedule.

Alrighty, so are you a FinDomme?

Yes, I unashamedly am. And that is an urge that needs to be satisfied in any dynamic I have with a submissive/slave.

I am very aware of my worth and what I deserve in this life — and I deserve to want for nothing; therefore I expect any submissives wanting to build a long term (FL)relationship with me, to never allow me to want for a thing.

I don’t split costs with men (whether they’re submissive, Dominant, or vanilla), you pay for everything or this isn’t going to work out. I have my own money but I shouldn’t ever have to spend it.

As the relationship develops the level of control I have over a submissive’s finances steadily increases; I’m not expecting you to hand over full control from the get-go, but eventually your paycheck will be paid into my bank account and you won’t be able to spend any money outside of essential bills without checking with me first.

Despite the fact I don’t charge for messages, I do require tributes to be paid before I am willing to meet with a potential servant for the first time.

Similarly, turning up to see me empty handed isn’t a good look; as we build our relationship/dynamic, ensure you bring me a gift when we see each other — this could be anything from a book on my reading list or a punnet of strawberries, to a new MacBook or £10k in cash.